Friday, July 16, 2010

How do you do it?

The pic above is Lukasz & Anya! Just to make me smile & remember!
Today, it's about me. I need this. I've heard it again, so to prevent my head from blowing up like a huge balloon, I will be totally honest.

How do you do it? Daniel & I have 7 children, ages 17, 14, 11, 5, 4, 2 1/2 & 4 months. We home school them all.

So, here's our secret. We don't.

After Lukasz was born, I had this huge realization that I could NOT do this mothering thing on my own. I didn't have the knowledge, the patience, the endurance, the anything to be the mother of 5 (at that time) children.

That's when Jesus came in and saved the day. I realized I couldn't live off of a daily quiet time (or the illusion of). I needed Him every hour. I needed His help for EVERYTHING! I need Him to give me the strength to keep my mouth shut. I need His help to give me the patience to speak at the right time. I need His comfort when I feel lonely because I don't have time for daily phone calls to friends who understand.

I don't want to give the impression that we have it all together to anyone ever. Okay, maybe some times I would like people to think that I have it all together. But then, all the pressure is on me to perform. Then I have to get my wonder woman cape on & fly around saving the day. The thought makes me laugh.

Now, I'll be really honest. I am constantly struggling to be consistent with the kids. Right now, there are dishes on the counter, crayons on the table, laundry piled up. The younger kids went to bed at 9:30 pm, older ones are getting ready to watch a movie with me (which I'll probably fall asleep during). We are in the middle of no less than 3 home improvement projects. I'm planning 3 more in my head. My 2 year old screams every time someone touches her & then I caught her big brother pinching her as he walked by to watch her scream. They call each other & sometimes me "poopy head". The other day, we were at a carnival type thing with at least 200 people there. I had the baby in the shade, the younger ones were with siblings. I went to check on them and no one knew where the little ones were. We found them. They were completely fine, but still... I had a fit. It was Kathryn's birthday & I planned on taking her shopping to pick out an outfit, but I forgot to tell her that. So, she went all week thinking I wasn't planning on getting her anything. Sometimes, I get mad at my husband. Sometimes, I'm disrespectful. The sassy, head nod Shaniqua thing that the girls do... they got from me. (I'm going to buy them a bobble head doll that looks like them.) Daddy & Ryan are in the process of teaching the little boys how to arm pit fart... at the dinner table.

Do you get the picture? I'm just me. Daniel is just Daniel. And ya know what? It's okay. We're workin' on growing up together. We're workin' on staying young together. We're workin' on being more like Christ together.

I'm giving up my dream of having this perfect little refined family to show off at church on Sunday, but stepping into REALITY. We have a very imperfect, large family that truly loves the Lord & wants to give Him glory & I'm just praying that I will step out of the way & let Him do His thang... Because when I am weak, then He is strong. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So, next time I hear that question, I'm going to answer it honestly. It's not me. I fail every day. It's HIM! It's all about HIM! I pray you see HIM!

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