A little background information: My husband and I are perfect for each other. Perfect opposites in a lot of things. Adventure seeking, being one of them. I'm just not... seeking adventure. I like safe. I like home. I like routine. Normal. And if you know D, you know that he LOVES adventure, roller coasters, the unknown, flying by the seat of his pants... Yep, opposites!
So, I'm called to be HIS helper and to adjust to him, so I pray A LOT!
Daniel started planning this canoeing adventure last year. He bought a canoe. Oh, I was irritated! If he buys a canoe, then we might have to go canoeing. How can I go canoeing? We don't have enough canoes for everyone. How can I take a new baby, a little girl and everyone else canoeing? What if the boat tips? What if someone needs me and I can't get to them? Of course, I never expressed these feeling out loud. That would sound like I was afraid. I prefer, responsible, cautious, prudent... These words sound so much holier than FEAR.
So back to plan to honor my dear husband on his day. He wants adventure. I WILL smile. I WILL keep my doubts to myself. I WILL trust that God is big enough to handle this. We went to Walmart to pick up a few things and we picked up a couple life jackets for the boys. Faith doesn't equal foolishness.
The day came. We were ready! We were on our way! It seemed a struggle. Why would the devil care about a silly day at the lake? Flat tire on the trailer. Fix it in Rose City at the hardware. On our way again! Unload the trailer. Fishing poles, 2 canoes, 2 kayaks, food... We are set!
|Father's Day Beauty|
But my son, the one that is my barometer. The one that is too immature to mask his true feelings, is wrestling with his baby brother. "You HAVE to sit, Elijah! Daddy, he's moving!" Eli is fussing. "Let me GO!" He seems to say. "I know that I am missing this adventure, sitting still. I can't see the water. I can't touch the water. I want to experience it all, my first time in a canoe." Of course, I'm in front. I am trying to see, to help, but I can't without tipping the canoe. And there is seaweed down there. I cannot see the bottom. Tipping the canoe is NOT an option. So, I sit still. I adjust my weight.
Daddy steps in, "Lukasz, let him go. He'll be alright. He'll be fine." Really, I think. Let a baby wander, explore in this little boat. "Okay... but I don't know..." Prudent, maybe... Cautious... Nah, just fear...
Lukasz still fussing. Now Eli is rocking the boat. His excitement. One side to the other. On his tippy toes trying to reach that water spraying up. He's reaching it! I peak at his sweet face, the joy of water on his hand, in his face. I wish I could capture his look of sheer exhilaration on this little man's face...
Lukasz still fussing. "I want to go back. He's rocking the boat. I don't like canoeing. I'm never going again."
Now, I step in. "Lukasz, what are you afraid of?" Does he know I'm talking to me? "Let's say he falls in. He has a life jacket on. He'll float. No fish are going to bite him or eat him. Daddy will grab him. He might be more careful next time.
It's O K A Y..."
Calm... Peace... I start to notice the trees, the spray of the water on the canoe, the stillness, the BIG large mouth bass we floated over, the tree fallen, the island...
The other side of the lake... The other children... They are caught. The wind pushing them. Inexperience. Youth. They can't stop going in circles. I'm laughing a little. Letting go of control. God's got them. They have to learn that. We paddle away. Hand Ryan a tow rope and say, "Bring em back." We head to the beach. Don't look back.
Lukasz about kisses the ground when we are back on land. The land lubber. :) I smile. Breathe. Thank you, Lord, for this.
Here they come. Rose and Kathryn paddling the canoe. Counting strokes. Working together. Slow progress. Gabriel in the center, giving directions. Ryan towing Anya, in her glory, my adventure girl! Thank you, Jesus, for this.
Later in the day, "Hey Anya! Let's go for a kayak ride, just you and I! It'll be fun!" And it was!
In His Grip,
If you have not read "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann VosKamp, seriously... The Lord has used this author's journey into thanksgiving to "undo" me.